Taliban deny holding talks in Saudi Arabia

KABUL: The Taliban militia leading a 10-year insurgency in Afghanistan on Wednesday denied that they would soon hold talks with Afghan President Hamid Karzai’s government in Saudi Arabia.

“There is no truth in these published reports saying that the delegation of the Islamic Emirate would meet with representatives of the Karzai government in Saudi Arabia in the near future,” the Taliban said on their website.

Afghan officials, requesting anonymity, had suggested that the two sides would hold talks in Saudi Arabia separate from planned negotiations in Qatar between the Taliban and the United States.

But it was never clear whether the Taliban, who have so far resisted talks with the Afghan government, or the Saudis, who have conditioned involvement on the Taliban renouncing al-Qaeda, would come on board.

Taliban negotiators have begun preliminary discussions with the United States in Qatar on plans for peace talks aimed at ending the decade-long war. They have also announced plans to set up an office in Doha.

On Wednesday, the Taliban said they had not yet “reached the negotiation phase with the US and its allies”. A day earlier, a government spokesman in Kabul cautioned that no steps had been taken to start talks in Saudi Arabia. “The Afghan government is very clear on talks — we have always preferred Saudi to Qatar,” Akim Hasher, head of the Government Media and Information Centre, told AFP. “There is a possibility that the talks will take place in Saudi as well — Qatar is definitely not the only option.”

Afghan govt, Taliban to hold talks in S Arabia: envoy

RIYADH: Afghan government officials and representatives of the country’s former Taliban rulers are to hold peace talks in Saudi Arabia, a Riyadh-based Afghan diplomat said on Monday.

“An Afghan government delegation and a Taliban delegation will hold talks in Saudi Arabia,” the diplomat told AFP on condition of anonymity, but he could not give a timing. He said the talks in Saudi would be separate from the US-brokered meetings held in Qatar and be the first such talks to take place there.

Taliban negotiators have begun preliminary discussions with the United States in Qatar on plans for peace talks aimed at ending the decade-long war in Afghanistan. A member of the Taliban’s leadership council, the Pakistan-based Quetta Shura, said Sunday “the idea that the Taliban should have a point of contact in Saudi is pushed by the Pakistan and Afghan governments.”

Pakistan was feeling “sidelined” from the US-brokered talks, he said. The Afghan diplomat, however, said there were no plans for a third party to attend the negotiations in Saudi Arabia. “So far, there is no third party that will be present at the talks,” he said. A senior Afghan government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, acknowledged on Sunday that the Saudi talks would take place but also did not say when.

Grossman in Kabul for talks with Karzai on peace

KABUL: US envoy Marc Grossman arrived in Kabul on Saturday for talks with President Hamid Karzai on preliminary peace negotiations with Taliban insurgents.

“The United States stands ready to assist in any way we can an Afghan-led reconciliation process to find a peaceful end to this conflict,” he said in a statement.

“I look forward to calling on President Karzai and discussing next steps.”

Grossman’s visit comes in the wake of an announcement by the Taliban that it planned to open a political office in Qatar ahead of talks with Washington on ending Afghanistan’s 10-year war. A US official said that if Karzai was agreeable, the talks could open within weeks. Speaking at the opening of a new session of parliament shortly after Grossman’s arrival, Karzai reiterated that his government accepted the plan for a Qatar office “for the purpose of peace”.

He noted that his government had also recently met a delegation from the second biggest insurgent group, Hizb-e-Islami, “in brotherhood and good atmosphere” and emphasised that peace negotiations would continue.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sent Grossman to Kabul to discuss the Qatar development with Karzai, who was reportedly concerned that he would be sidelined by talks in the Gulf state.

Washington has consistently said that any talks with the Taliban to end the war could only take place with the agreement of the Afghan government, which eventually should lead the process.

US ready for talks with Pakistan

NEW DELHI: Downplaying Pakistan’s refusal to disallow his visit, President Barack Obama’s Special Representative for AfPak Marc Grossman Friday said he will wait till the Pakistani parliament and government reassess and re-evaluate the relationship with the US.

Amidst political crisis in Pakistan, Grossman also said the US supports the civilian government and democracy there. “The Pakistan government has sought time to re-evaluate its relationship with the US. I respect that. I would be ready for talks when Pakistan is ready,” he told reporters after meeting Indian Foreign Secretary Ranjan Mathai here.

On whether Pakistan was discussed during his meeting with Mathai, Grossman said the Indian government can speak for itself on Pakistan. “What I would say is that of course we follow issues in Pakistan carefully.”

Grossman also said the US would continue to reinforce its conversation with Pakistan on the situation in Afghanistan and pitched the need for reviving trilateral dialogue. On the current confrontation in Pakistan, he said the US supports the civilian government and democracy in Pakistan. “This is a question for Pakistanis. This is an internal question for them. They have their own ways of going forward and I would not comment any further on internal developments,” he said.

Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future

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Good arguments can provide lessons that last a lifetime. But psychologist Joseph P. Allen's research shows that yelling isn't the answer. "The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers," he says.

If you're the parent of a teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen developmental separation from parents.

It's a vital part of growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents. Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed and, in the process, provide a lifelong benefit to children.

Researchers from the University of Virginia recently published their findings in the journal Child Development. Psychologist Joseph P. Allen headed the study.

Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it's the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference.

"We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground," he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.

 

Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or insults, he says.

In Allen's study, 157 13-year-olds were videotaped describing their biggest disagreement with their parents. The most common arguments were over grades, chores, money and friends. The tape was then played for both parent and teen.

"Parents reacted in a whole variety of ways. Some of them laughed uncomfortably; some rolled their eyes; and a number of them dove right in and said, 'OK, let's talk about this,'" he says.

It was the parents who said wanted to talk who were on the right track, says Allen. "We found that what a teen learned in handling these kinds of disagreements with their parents was exactly what they took into their peer world," with all its pressures to conform to risky behavior like drugs and alcohol.

Allen interviewed the teens again at ages 15 and 16. "The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers," he says. They were able to confidently disagree, saying 'no' when offered alcohol or drugs. In fact, they were 40 percent more likely to say 'no' than kids who didn't argue with their parents.

For other kids, it was an entirely different story. "They would back down right away," says Allen, saying they felt it pointless to argue with their parents. This kind of passivity was taken directly into peer groups, where these teens were more likely to acquiesce when offered drugs or alcohol. "These were the teens we worried about," he says.

Bottom line: Effective arguing acted as something of an inoculation against negative peer pressure. Kids who felt confident to express themselves to their parents also felt confident being honest with their friends.

So, ironically the best thing parents can do is help their teenager argue more effectively. For this, Allen offers one word: listen.

In the study, when parents listened to their kids, their kids listened back. They didn't necessarily always agree, he says. But if one or the other made a good point, they would acknowledge that point. "They weren't just trying to fight each other at every step and wear each other down. They were really trying to persuade the other person."

Acceptable argument might go something like this: 'How about if my curfew's a half hour later but I agree that I'll text you or I'll agree that I'll stay in certain places and you'll know where I'll be; or how about I prove to you I can handle it for three weeks before we make a final decision about it."

Again, parents won't necessarily agree. But "they'll get across the message that they take their kids point of view seriously and honestly consider what they have to say," Allen says.

Child psychologist Richard Weissbourd says the findings bolster earlier research that finds that "parents who really respect their kids' thinking and their kids' input are much more likely to have kids who end up being independent thinkers and who are able to resist peer groups."

Weissbourd points to one dramatic study that analyzed parental relationships of Dutch citizens who ended up protecting Jews during World War II. They were parents who encouraged independent thinking, even if it differed from their own.

So the next time your teenager huffs and puffs and starts to argue, you might just step back for a minute, take a breath yourself, and try to listen. It may be one of the best lessons you teach your child.

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