Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Adeel Shirazi on 21, Jan 2012 | No Comments | in Category: Insight

Headline news gets you nauseous? This might explain why;

“Forgot my Blackberry in the States; can’t remember the pin code either.”(My dog ate my homework?) Hussain Haqqani takes a profound stance in courtroom number 1.

 “Why aren’t they wearing short-sleeved shirts? The answer is clear. They are bending their elbows.”  (You wear sunglasses, you have a squint?) Bob Willis goes berserk after England succumbed to Saeed Ajmal’s magical spell on the first day of opening Test.

“The apex court’s decision demonstrated that democracy was indeed alive and well in Pakistan.” (Let’s ask RIM, should we? or GHQ?) A ‘eureka’ moment for Mansoor Ijaz, possibly after a distasteful joint.

“Babar Awan’s license has been martyred by the court.” (Damn! If PPP’s, even a punctured tyre is a martyred tyre.)  A mourning Raja Riaz falls just short of demanding a place in Garhi Khuda Bukhsh for Awan’s license.

“People talk of bringing change, but change came to the country in 1998 when Pakistan conducted a nuclear test.” (As soon the bomb exploded, rivers flew into vine and sun shone over the land like never before.) An emotional Nawaz Sharif loses track of reality during his narration of the fictional ‘Khilafat-land’.

“My role here is akin to Colonel Ryan’s in ‘Von Ryan Express’.” (Not really, he had a fully functional train and managed to repair a railway track.) Recent exposure to Military imagery gets to PM Gillani’s head.

“I am coming to Pakistan because it is important to save democracy.”(Wait, wasn’t it ‘alive and well’ already?) Mansoor Ijaz wakes up with an epiphany.

“I remain Hashmi’s well-wisher.” (Brutus, you %@#$!) Shahbaz Sharif expresses his sentiments while playing darts over an IK picture with U2’s “With or without you” playing in the background.

“I am being treated as if I am the chief of Pakistan army.” (Ha! You wish! Not unless you are handed down an extension and acres of valuable land) General VK Singh, the Indian Army Chief, exhibits a case of classic Military sagacity.

“Aap ki Nazar mien.” President Zardari responds to Hamid Mir’s question of weakening government institutions. (True story, no exaggeration. A perfect WTF moment.)